October 16, 2003

Burning Man

October 16, 2006 - Monday

Jester Dormitory Austin, TX

My life i live in desperation. I place myself in desperate measures. Perhaps I need it, perhaps I seek it. I feel desperate for work right now. I fell desperate this morning. Analogous to my having to go pee and spurting from the 5th floor to the women's restroom, I smile. I think that I like this desperation. The reason why I am alone is because I do not with this on others. It's a hard life, in some regards, and an easy one in others. When others ask what my goals are, i spill them my dreams of adrenaline.

A goal so unspecified, I have no idea what I speak about. It's a Sunday morning and the worlds mostly still asleep here in Austin. I don't even have a decent pair of socks to wear. A life of temporary solutions. My life is an opportunity to figure out what works for me. I have been without work for 2 weeks now, finding work isn't difficult, finding the motivation is. I feel somewhat trapped in this work -- entrapment cycle. it will not end. I am beginning to believe that we work hard in hopes of retiring. God, what a life. How can you trick your mind into bearing that? The mind can do anything it wants to.